She Is Beautiful

She is beautiful, undeniably so.
But why ruin such beauty? Is the question I ask.
Why does she let him do that?
Let him hurt her or strike her?
It’s not fair surely.
He goes on ruthlessly, mercilessly
Only with the pleads of his children, he stops
He spits at her, asking her questions with no real answers.
Why are you so poor? Why are you so beautiful? Do you make yourself look like that, because you’re off to meet some boyfriend of yours?
Why did you get money from her, when you know it makes us look poor?
She stutters and tries to answer, too afraid to speak clearly.
I was born poor, and at least we have a home and food here. I don’t know why I’m beautiful, I don’t think I am. I don’t have a boyfriend! I’m faithful to you!
I got money from her because of the children, because they need it!
He scoffs and turns around, too angry to glare at her.
He turns back with fire in his eyes, and when he speaks, it’s a voice of a devil.
The children, he mimics. What about me?
She whimpers and he hits her harder than before.
She is beautiful, but he doesn’t appreciate it,
So one day, she’s not going to be there to be appreciated,
His coldness drove her away,
Her beauty made him stay.
She is beautiful, he whispers

I Don’t Think You Know

I don’t think you know how much it means to me,
To see your faces in the crowd, watching and waiting.
Or seeing you enter the room, eyes seeking me out, and smiling when they do.
I don’t think you know how much it means to me,
Letting me cry, letting me laugh, letting me learn, letting me go.
Letting me be ME, for who I am.
I don’t think you know how much it means to me,
Your day-to-day advice, your words of wisdom, your scolding,
You letting me see how the world is, and preparing me for it.
I don’t think you know how much it means to me,
That you’re here with me, in my journey that has only begun.
I don’t think you know.

Why Did You Leave Me?

Your body is still, your heart is frozen,
But your spirit is glowing, your face is golden
I’m in such sorrow
I wish I was stronger for tomorrow
The only question I ask will be,
Why did you leave me?

A New Day

Though my soul is sad,
I cannot bear the pain,
I know that you are with me,
Even though your body’s slain
You told me not to cry,
I’m sorry I can’t follow
But I promise I will try,
Not to cry tomorrow
I’m glad I got to know you,
To hear what you had to say,
You told me to remember,
Tomorrow’s a new day

Poems from the Heart

Hey ! So imma put up some old poems of mine. Like grade 6 poems :) there are four of them soyeah~ heads up !

-riooo

Breathless

She’s always disliked singing. Not because she was tone deaf, oh no, it was quite the opposite. She had a wonderful voice. The only problem was that, more often than not, while singing, she found it hard to breathe. So she stopped trying, and settled for low humming instead.

Oh, but she had a feeling she would grow to dislike this boy. Very much so. Not because he was mean. Oh no. But because this boy made her positively breathless.

——————————————-
A little piece of inspi, yay !! Idk where that came from, but yeah :) Almost school time ! :-ss

Campfire

Come on. Meet me outside. :>

I read the text message that just arrived and shook my head before coming up with a short reply.

Psh. We’re going to get caught.

I waited for his reply as I stared up at the dark ceiling of the room where all of us girls slept. Our group was doing this bonding- team building thing for the weekend. And of course, the boys and the girls had separate rooms.

My phone buzzed again as I rolled my eyes, unlocking my phone to read the latest message.

We won’t! Come on, get your jacket and meet me outside your room, I’ll be there in around 2 minutes. 5 minutes tops.

I sat up and patted the floor beside my mattress, looking for my discarded jacket. Not to meet up with him, of course. I was feeling cold. Yep. Totally.

What will you do if I don’t ? /:)

The answer was almost instantaneous.

I’m going into your room and dragging you out.

I put on my jacket, and raised my eyebrow. He was bluffing.

Fine. I’m calling your bluff.

The door to our room opened a crack, letting the hallway light enter, landing on my face.

I stood up and practically ran to the door, aware that some people were starting to stir, and closed the door gently behind me.

I spun around, a stern expression on my face. I looked into a smirking face with short brown hair and chocolate colored eyes.

“You called it.” I rolled my eyes and lifted an eyebrow.

“Fine, whatever. I’m out of the room. Where are we going now?” His face didn’t change from its smirk as he took my hand and led me outside, into the night.

I tried to ignore the fact that his hand was extremely warm and fit around mine like a glove. Or the fact that his fingers were playing with mine. And most especially the fact that he was still holding my hand as we went out onto the path.

There was a light breeze blowing the leaves outside. It was a cool summer night with a few clouds scattered here and there, enough to give the night sky different shades, but not enough to block the moonlight and the stars. There were frogs and  crickets somewhere, hidden among the foliage and the little ponds here and there.

“You still haven’t answered me.” I told him in a hushed tone. Something about the situation made me lower my voice. As if the setting was just a dream, and anything too loud could ruin it.

“Just wait. Patience is a virtue.” He told me gently, squeezing my hand. I muttered a low “I know that.” as he chuckled. I really hoped he couldn’t feel my heartbeat start to accelerate underneath the palm of his hand. But when I saw his eyes widen and take a look at me, with a smug look settling on his features, I knew he noticed the difference.

Soon we reached an area that had “natural” log benches forming a circle around a well-like structure made with bricks.  In the middle, were the still-glowing embers from an earlier fire.

“You brought me back to the bonfire area?” I asked a bit skeptically. Honestly, I was just amused.

“Surprise.” He whispered into my ear before leading me to a log, sitting me down, and then turning towards a pile of wood to burn.

He grabbed a few silently, picking out some which would burn easily, and others that would burn for a long time.

He arranged them in a pile in the center of the pit, making sure there was enough space for air flow, and got the fuel kept at the side for helping with the flame.

He doused the pieces of wood quite thoroughly, to the point where I almost thought they’d be too wet to burn. And then he got out a match, lit it, and threw it in the middle.

While he went about putting flammable objects like leaves and dry grass in some of the crevices and adding match sticks to make sure the fire would continue burning without the accelerant, I watched the already sizable flame dance in front of me, moving with the slight breeze.

I was sitting about a meter away from the edge of the fire, and I could feel the heat come off in waves. I removed my jacket, revealing the old, loose t-shirt I had worn to bed. I was grateful I had chosen to wear black cotton shorts instead of the silk pajamas I had also packed.

When he was satisfied, he turned around to smile brightly at me, before climbing out and going over to the opposite side of the pit. He went over to one of the bench logs and got something. He went around the pit, before sitting down next to me, carrying a plastic bag.

“What’s this?” I asked, not giving him the chance to answer as I opened the bag. “OOH! Marshmallows! And chocolate! And…. aha! I knew it! Graham crackers!” I took them out one by one and put it beside me, feeling like a kid making smores for the first time.

He chuckled behind me and I turned around to swat his arm. He put on a mock hurt look as I stuck my tongue out and looked around for something we could use to hold the marshmallows over the fire.

“Looking for these?” He asked as he pulled out two clean sticks for marshmallows. I smiled brightly while nodding, and leaned forward to grab it from him.

Once I had satisfactorily speared the gigantic marshmallow onto the stick, I held it into the flame, humming a song under my breath. I turned to see him putting a third marshmallow onto his stick before putting almost everything into the fire. I looked at him strangely and he turned around and raised his eyebrow.

“What?” He asked innocently as he started twisting his stick around, much like a spit.

“You know that they all might fall in, right?” He scoffed and weighed it in his hand.

“Yeah right. That’s not going to happen because—!” Just as he was explaining, the stick broke, and landed into the fire marshmallow-side first. He looked up at me like a kid who’s hand was caught in the cookie jar, while I smirked knowingly.

“That’s alright, we can split mine.” I told him whilst preparing the smore. Once I had carefully arranged it, I was now faced with the problem of how to cut it. I pointed at the sweet confection, with a sheepish smile.

It was his turn to smirk at me as he took it from me, and cleanly broke the treat in two.

“How did you do that?” My mouth agape as I accepted my half of the s’more, taking note that the chocolate and marshmallow didn’t even make a mess. I took a bite and almost moaned at the combination of flavors and textures.

“Practice.” He said simply, devouring his half in 2 bites.

I rolled my eyes and finished the choco-mallow treat, licking my fingers in the process.

I leaned back and went back to gazing at the fire, which seemed to be growing stronger as time went on. There was a comfortable silence, broken only by the sound of crickets, and other nocturnal insects.

“So, why did you bring me here?” I asked nonchalantly, not turning to look at him.

“So s’mores isn’t a good enough reason?” He replied softly, yet sarcastically.

“I know it’s not your only reason.” I told him simply. He sighed and I glimpsed at him from the corner of my eye. He ran a hand through his hair, and I reached up to brush a bit that fell onto his eyes. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand, initiating eye contact.

“Look, there’s something I need to tell you…” I felt my heart beat start to accelerate again, and my breath caught in my throat while waiting for him to continue.

Just as he opened his mouth, a ball seemingly came out of nowhere and was about to hit me, if I didn’t stand up and bat it away. I heard a frustrated groan from beside me, but chose to ignore him, calming myself down.

“Who’s out there?” I called out, noticing the forced nonchalance in my voice.

Soon, around half of our group was there. They woke up because someone left the boys’ door open (ahem) and made so much noise that the other girls woke up as well. I shrugged and offered them s’mores, and in no time at all everyone was sticky and making a lot of noise.

I sat cross-legged beside him, staying quiet as the others joked around. I didn’t look at him, still wondering what he had to say. I heaved a sigh and looked up at the stars. Then, I felt a warm hand creep back into mine and he pulled me closer, so that my ear was right by his mouth.

“I never got to finish. I… I love you.” A small smile crept onto my face, and I looked back into the campfire. The flames were crackling as I leaned my head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand. That’s all the answer he needed.

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OMG I actually finished this !! HAHA yaaay. =))

-riooo

On Pisay and Untarnished Truth: A Reflection

http://filipinofreethinkers.org/2012/05/01/on-pisay-and-untarnished-truth/

^THAT. I must say, I like the article very much. Not only because it is well-written, but it embodies what it says. It gives the truth (or as much of the truth a single person can offer on a situation), and is not afraid of doing say.

While reading it, I couldn’t help but think of the current situation, and see how things could be changed. I agree with certain points, while I think others were a little off. But all in all, the article is compelling and thought provoking.

The following is a reflection of certain points that stood out while I was reading. I’d just like to say, these are my thoughts and opinions, and I am not forcing anyone to read this, or to follow my train of thought. Of course, they are free to do so, if they please.

“…Philippine Science High School walks an increasingly thinning wall of separation between church and state by offloading religious teaching to a program called Optional Religious Instruction (or ORI). This is run by concerned parents, who comprise the (largely Catholic) Parents’ Council for Optional Religious Instruction (or PCORI).”

On a personal note, I was part of ORI in first year. It was actually pretty fun (I guess because I was with my friends) and the instruction wasn’t TOO forceful. But I dropped it in second year. Why? I figured that I was already taught the doctrines and practices of my religion in my previous school. I mean, that’s why I attended a private Catholic school in the first place, right? To learn my foundations. I went to the “premiere science high school” to focus on, well, SCIENTIFIC practices and values.

But (and okay, this is personal) will the parents let this happen? Of course not. And yes, I am quite bitter. I can openly say that because I know my parents aren’t the type to meddle like that. They have (quite openly, as well) expressed their opposition to the current ‘style’ of Pisay parents, and I agree. Let this be clear, though, that I am not saying they’re not important in our lives, and that we shouldn’t respect them. But what some of them need to learn is that THEY need to respect US. Class project? Offer us some food and drinks, don’t hover around and make (unsolicited) critique and comments. Failing a class? Don’t get mad, and don’t blame yourself. You can try to help them, but don’t force them into anything. If you fail, you fail. As my mom says, Kung hindi mo kaya, wala kang karapatan. It’s the survival of the fittest, isn’t it? It always has been, from the moment we signed up to take the entrance test for the PSHS System.

“There is so much potential in a Values Education class for real personal growth and self-discovery. Is it not in the spirit of the pursuit of “the untarnished truth” for there to be genuine inquiry into the very values that we hold dear?”

I have to say, I liked Val Ed this year. Maybe it was because our teacher was cool (she was also our adviser, but that’s beside the point) and that she taught well. She is Catholic, but even then, she teaches the lessons free of personal opinions, and religious beliefs. She does sometimes tell us her own personal opinions, but it’s usually in form of a story or “kwento” as we call it (she gives us a lot of kwentos, haha :D) and she always says that it’s her own personal thing.

But I know from what other people have told me, that some people (not just Val Ed teachers, or teachers, for that matter!) flagrantly wave about their opinions and beliefs and expect people to agree. Sometimes, they even dissuade you from believing in anything else. Intense? Hell yeah.

“The punctuation mark after four years of scientific education for all non-Christians (theists and atheists alike) is for their labors to be credited to a god they don’t even believe in.”

This really did it for me. Reverting to slang, SO MUCH TRUTH. I mean, isn’t that kind of sucky? Working really REALLY hard for four years, somehow passing all your subjects, submitting all your requis, and possibly even getting on the Director’s List, and then having all that work credited to this… idea. This idea you don’t believe in.

I know I’m entering a risqué topic here, but I’ve wanted to voice this for some time now. Religion is so… set. There are boundaries and limits and expectations to a lot of religions and it’s so.. frustrating. What if you believed in the teachings of your faith, but also believed in this and that? Will you be labeled a heretic? Or will people let it be and think of it as nothing but a philosophical idea you happened to entertain? What if there are a bunch of people out there that just don’t know what to believe in?

“The overall disease of Pisay, as an institution, is that it does not value science. It values science careers and public achievement. Pisay has consistently failed to inculcate scientific values to its students. Here, we come full circle. That Pisay (with all the well-meaning in the world) views Values Education as a subterfuge for religion class is another clear sign of this negligence.”

I don’t really understand what is meant by “not valuing science”. Even though the article mentioned examples and such, I still don’t quite get it. So, I won’t comment on it, because of a lack of knowledge and understanding on this matter. But I agree that Pisay values careers in science, and the achievement of its students and alumni. And, I have to agree, Pisay seems to treat Val Ed as a replacement for Catechism. I’ve already mentioned Val Ed and religion earlier, and I feel no need to reiterate.

“For, if Pisay had been able to provide a science education that showed the value of scientific and critical thinking, students would freely choose a science course without the need for compulsion. And the few who would still choose majors outside of science, will still come away from the school ennobled by a scientific worldview that is priceless.”

Another important issue. It makes sense, admittedly, that as science scholars, we choose a science course. For some people, this isn’t a problem, because some people have been eyeing a science course for quite some time now. Personally, I have always considered Medicine and Forensics. Now, I’m inclined towards Medicine or Management Engineering. But what about people who want to expand their horizons? Like my brother. He wants to go to Anthropology, but he can’t, because it is currently an AB (from what I hear, it’s being made into a BS. I don’t know when that will be finished, though). But isn’t the point of the course to do something you want? Something you wouldn’t mind doing for a good portion of your life? Something you very well might have to wake up early for? College is, excuse my French, the time to fuck up. Try new things. You’re given more freedom, and all this space to move and be free and express yourself. Now is the time to try things. Now is the time to do the things you’ll do and then say “never again”. College is supposed to be a mix of fucking up, fun, life and studying. (Yes, studying!)

By limiting the course choices, I think they are depriving certain students of a chance to pursue what they really want, or for others to broaden their mind. What if they find, once situated in an environment where you are not necessarily expected to do any better than your classmates in academics, that they’re gifted in the arts? Or, sports? What happens then? They’re forced to choose. And in most cases, they choose the path that does not require paying back thousands of pesos.

“This implies that not only should Pisay scholars be scientifically competent, they should hold a worldview informed and shaped by science. Pisay scholars ought not to shy away from the pursuit of truth might lead to, no matter how controversial or uncomfortable these truths might be. ”

This is the ending quote/topic I choose to expound upon. This pretty much summarizes what a Pisay scholar should be able to do, and the one expectation that, I think, they should try the hardest to meet. We search for the UNTARNISHED TRUTH. And as it said, we search for that no matter how controversial or uncomfortable they are. The truth may stretch our beliefs to the limit, put us in a situation that we’re not prepared for, and generally bring us out of our comfort zone. But in the end, the truth is infallible. You can avoid it for as long as you want, but there is little you can do to change it.

I wrote this essay because I wanted to try and do my own take on what Pisay is. Pisay isn’t perfect. Pisay has a lot of flaws, from the system, to the traditions, to the facilities, to the people. But does that make me any less proud of my school? Any less thankful and grateful? No, it doesn’t. I think this calls for all the pride and gratefulness of all students to try and change, or improve the ‘major faults’ of Pisay. Sure, we can renovate this room, or repaint this or even abolish this and that. But what about the mindsets of the students and teachers? Of people who expect a lot from the Pisay scholars? From anyone else who might not know otherwise? What then?

What then, Pisay?

Crocodile Tears

Normally, people cried after a traumatic event. It was a human reaction to a sometimes inhumane situation. And in some situations, people would be expected to cry. Like at a funeral or a wake. Something about the concept and understanding of them leads us to believe there should be mourning and sadness.

But still most of the time, people cried alone. They put on a facade of strength in front of other people- people who offer solace and condolences, and when they’re left alone, their mask cracks and they succumb to the pit that has been getting deeper and deeper.

But she wasn’t normal. She never was. Because she cried when she was with people, and did nothing when she was alone. She cried just to let people make a pretense that she was normal- when that could have been farther from the truth.

She was devoid of life when she was alone. Her mood shifted from depressed to nothing. She floated around in a dream- no, a nightmare.

In a way, she was thankful for the times she was with people- the times she cried and made people believe she was hurting, or weak, or, well, normal.

Because that’s the only time she could be.

_____________________________

IDEK what this is, HAHA. It was supposed to be a teaser which included the line “She cried when she was people, and did nothing when she was alone.” or something to that extent. But then it turned into… this. I thought of the concept after watching Titanic, hehe. :—)

-riooo

Lookout

I heard a sound behind me, and when I looked up at the wall in front of me, I could see his shadow stretching out from where he stood leaning against the doorway. I paid him no heed as I continued preparing the things I would need for tomorrow.

“You don’t have to go, you know.” He finally said. “We can get someone else to install a prototype. And then have you make a booster while we’re on the field. There are a lot of other options; I don’t see why you needed to volunteer yourself to go.” His voice was tight and I knew he was clenching his fists.

“You know why I need to go.” I told him in a matter-of-fact tone. I kept my voice devoid of any emotion I might have been feeling.

“You don’t NEED to go.” He told me again, a hint of desperation entering his voice. My hand twitched as I put one thing or another inside my knapsack. It was hard resisting the urge to turn around and face him.

“Yes, I do. No one else can program the device. And besides, nobody knows how to set it up- even if I made a prototype and a booster, it wouldn’t work.” I expected him to say something angrily or maybe even slam my door, but the next thing I knew, his arms wrapped themselves around my waist, with his lips at my ear.

“Why do you have to be so smart?” He whispered into my ear before kissing my earlobe, all the way down my neck, and continuing onto my shoulder. He went back up and continued his circuit. I was becoming short of breath, and struggled to answer.

“Why don’t you want me to go anyway? You know we have to finish this mission.” He turned me around and looked me straight in the eye. I almost gasped at what I saw.

Desperation. Fear. Worry. Love, and so much more. There was so much emotion in his usually cool eyes; eyes that never giving anything away. That was why he was such a good agent. One of the best we had, really.

“I can’t guarantee your safety out there. I can’t imagine what would happen if you got captured or worse…” He choked on his words as he stared at me, willing me to understand.

I didn’t say anything as I placed my arms around his neck, pulled him down and kissed him. He responded right away, grabbing me by the hips and pulling me even closer to him. Our lips moved with a synchronization we’ve learned over more than a year of being together. No matter how often I kissed him, I would never tire of the tingle that goes down my spine that happens the moment our lips met. One of his hands traveled upwards to trace my spine, sending more shivers. I would have liked to continue kissing him, but the need to breathe overshadowed anything else, so I pulled back a quarter of an inch.

“Don’t worry about me.” I muttered against his lips as I dove back in to kiss him.

__________________________________

I have no effing idea where this idea came from. =)) But it really is just a snippet, cause… yeah I like snippets :))

I need more inspi to wriiite :( well, I had enough inspi for this :”> =))))